Google Alert Connection Cut Short: My Doppleganger Dies.

by Christine Cavalier on 15 August 2010

ChristinePurpura

Near where Christine Purpura was killed

If you are looking for the obituary of Christine Purpura, please click this link:
http://www.dellavecchiafh.com/sitemaker/sites/DellaV1/obit.cgi?user=241244Purpura

I found myself in a totally new situation this morning, one that could have been set up only by the Internet.

As a savvy social web user, I set up Google Alerts on all the versions of my name and my husband and childrens’ names. A free service that is easy to use, Google alerts will send an email with a link to any internet text that contains the phrase you are watching (in this case, our names).

I’ve been doing this for years. It’s how I discovered another Christine Cavalier who works in the tech department at Tufts (it was confusing for all my Twitter people when she was going to attend the Boston podcamp, that’s for sure!), and yet another woman who used “Christine Cavalier” as a stage name for her work in screamer/horror flicks in the 1980′s.

Christine Cavalier is my maiden name. It’s my pen and professional name. But my married name is actually Christine Cavalier-Purpura. So, naturally, I set up a Google Alert for that name and its variant, Christine Purpura.

About 6 or 7 years ago, I was alerted to Christine Purpura’s activities by a co-worker. Her name had come up in his internet travels. He asked me if I was a long distance runner, if I was fundraising for a national research cause, and if I had another home in New England. No, no and no. It was my doppleganger, 4 years younger than me, with the name Christine Purpura. It wasn’t long after this incident that I set up the Google Alerts.

I didn’t think anything about getting alerts about Christine Purpura. They’d come up now and then. I can’t remember now what milestones I missed, but I can remember thinking, “Oh, there she is… is she still running?” In fact, I remembered to register for any 5K runs that I did as Christine Cavalier, noting in my head that our times would get confused on national race lists if I used “Christine Purpura.” A small connection, I know. But I kind of always expect her to be there, in New England, running around doing things that show up in my alerts. Imagine my shock when I saw this come up in the Google Alert this morning:

http://www.myrecordjournal.com/latestnews/article_70cad2a2-a7ee-11df-890b-001cc4c03286.html

Southington woman killed in I-84 accident

By: | Posted: Saturday, August 14, 2010 5:51 pm

SOUTHINGTON – A 36-year-old Southington woman has died after being hit by a box truck in an eastbound lane of Interstate 84 near exit 31 Saturday morning as she was walking, said state police of Troop H in Hartford.

Christine Purpura, of 129 Walkley Drive, was declared dead at St. Mary’s Hospital, in Waterbury, where she’d been taken by ambulance with head injuries following the accident, which took place at 9:44 a.m., police said.

Police said there were no injuries to the driver of the Penske Truck Leasing truck, 60-year-old James Cunningham, of Lagrangeville, N.Y., or to passenger Suzanne Cunningham, 59. Police said the truck was in the right-hand eastbound lane when it struck Purpura.

No charges have been filed. State police are continuing the investigation, and are asking anyone with information to contact Trooper William Bevans, at (860) 534-1000, ext. 6136.

I don’t know what to do about this. I’m more bummed about it than I expected, actually. I just assumed I’d always be getting her alerts, quietly watching from afar when she hit major milestones, or got a new job, or bought a new house. Maybe she was seeing my alerts, too, if my name ever matched hers in any documents, which it does often. Did she know I existed like I knew she did? I’m sad I won’t be able to “see” her anymore.

I was mad that this article didn’t say more about her. She was probably running along I-84. I looked at the whole strip on Google Street View. The wide shoulder on the right of I-84 between exits 31 and 32 is fine for running. An interstate isn’t ideal, but it has a really wide shoulder. And the accident occurred at prime weekend running time, before 10 a.m. on a Saturday. What happened? Am I ever going to find out?

On top of these questions, I feel weird that I even want to know. I have no claim to this woman’s life. I am not her friend. We are strangers. I am a person that sometimes shares her same name, and I’ve been hearing about her for years on a regular basis. But I never reached out to her (like I did Christine Cavalier at Tufts), I never disturbed her privacy. Nevertheless, I’m bummed I won’t be seeing her updates anymore. She seemed so active and full of life, according to the updates. I sit here confused about connections and what this all means.

Anyway, I hope Christine Purpura’s family finds some way to cope, and I hope they see this post, to know that even strangers knew she existed, and I hope that is some sort of small comfort. Lives aren’t led in tiny mysterious bubbles anymore. Lives are written, documented on-line, for readers to connect with, aside from social ties or celebrity. My heart goes out to that other Purpura family (one that is, most probably, related to my in-laws in some way), and to everyone who has lost a loved one before their time, or before life even begins, like my real-life friend Amanda’s little baby Eliana, who died as soon as she came out of the womb last month, or my brother’s best school mate (he was like a brother to me) who died on the Lockerbie flight. I remember. I know they were here. That’s all I have to give, but I give it with all my heart.

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  • runner272727272

    i saw this right up and thought i should tell you what actually happened….she was not running along the side of the road….she walking in front of the truck….i don't know her, nor do i know why, but that is what happened….also, as a runner myself, i know that it is illegal to be a pedestrian on an interstate and i don't know a single runner that would think 84 is an acceptable running route

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    Thanks for the details. I wonder what the heck happened if she wasn't running. I agree aabout interstate running, but I have definitely seen ppl doing it.

    Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android

  • runner272727272

    I'm not sure if christine cavelier purpura is the same christine purpura that was hit….I just went to her twitter and it says she's from philly….the woman that was hit was from southington CT, not PA ???

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    Don't know if this was meant for me but let me clear this up: i am christine cavalier, aka christine cavalier-purpura. I live in Philly and i am a different person than the christine purpura that was killed.

    Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android

  • http://thoughtwrestling.com/blog Mark Dykeman

    I've never seen Google Alerts under my name for anyone other than myself, so I can't quite imagine what this must be like.

    Weird, too, I bet, because your name probably isn't that common.

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    Hey Mark.
    Yeah it's weird. Apparently the lineage for Purpura started in Sicily. It
    doesn't seem that common. Anyway… there are no words for this weird situation.
    I feel bad I never sent her a note to say hi. Well, perhaps I did send a note
    once during all these years and I just don't recall. It's very like me to drop a
    line to people for sillier reasons than sharing a name. -C

  • joeyfortman

    Wow! What a blog post…….. I love that you opened your heart a bit. I can imagine the yuck feeling you got when you saw this. Thanks for sharing. =)

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ Christine Cavalier

    And the obit doesn’t mention running. Did she run? Maybe there is another Christine Purpura in New England that is a runner, and I’ve been thinking this whole time that they were the same person?

  • laughsalot

    I was searching the name myself to see if I knew who she was and I came across your blog and I thought how ironic. Here this poor girl for whatever reason thought this was the path she needed to take and all along you didn't even know her, but felt her life was important enough to continue seeing her alerts. I don't know what this girl was going through or why she did what she did, but it just goes to show you that you mean more to people and your life means more than you think to others! There are no words for how her family must feel right now, but I hope they see your blog at some point and see it as a little mini tribute to Christine Purpura! It's nice to know there are good people like you still out there. :)

  • Grapp

    You can view Christine's obituary at http://www.dellavecchiafh.com/sitemaker/sites/D… . I found your post when searching for information about Christine's accident. My father-in-law is her uncle.

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    Thanks so much, this is very kind. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. It's so
    sad. She was too young.

    -Christine

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    I know, life is full of little ironies. Too bad this one is so sad. I kind of
    wish I was one of those people who keeps all their Google Alerts. I could have
    sent the family a nice summary of the last few years. Maybe they can still find
    them. Her obit said her 6 year old daughter survives her. Ugh I can't imagine.

    -C

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    Hey Joey Fortman. I know, what a yuck feeling. I won't be the last person to go
    through this. We're all keeping track of each other now. And now old connections
    don't really fade, which means we'll be running into
    sad-but-don't-know-the-etiquette situations. Do I send a card? Do I go to the
    funeral? The Internet is an extended church, but without the norms and rules of
    behavior that churches offer. I hope I don't take over this poor woman's google
    juice… see, that in a way is rude and somehow feels like a breach of
    etiquette. It's not something I can help, but it seems rude that I posted this
    now. I didn't think it would steal her obit space. Maybe I'll put the link to
    the obit on the top, so people who are searching for her can click away from my
    site to where they want to go…

    Anyway, there are no rules for this. I'm just trying to do what's right, to
    maintain some human dignity in the face of all this machinery.

    -C

  • Mike

    Hi there – I can appreciate the strangeness of this news. Christine was my sister-in-law. She was married to my brother. I didn't know her well, but she I know she loved her daughter and my heart aches for her and her family.

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    Mike I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you have this ache and now you must have a whole
    other level of concern for your niece and your brother. No matter what your
    family situation is, I hope you all find peace sooner rather than later. I'm
    sorry you didn't know her well, I'm sorry you lost her, I'm sorry your brother
    is aching, I'm sorry your niece is without her mother. The whole thing isn't
    right.

    -Christine

    P.S. If the Purpuras and your family, the Appelsteins, want, I will take the
    post down immediately. Whatever makes them more comfortable is the priority. I'm
    now embarrassed I even posted this. I didn't forsee my Google rankings
    overtaking your family's space. I write about our lives and how the Internet
    impacts us, and I was genuinely shocked and dismayed at Christine's death. I
    thought that maybe writing about it would help other people realize that
    connections made online, even inadvertent ones, are tenuous and strange but
    real. A new kind of real, but real nonetheless. I just wanted to talk about my
    disappointment at the future absence of her alerts. I didn't find updates about
    Christine Purpura to be a nuisance at all, just a delightful curiosity. I am
    seeing many of Christine's friends and family coming out of the woodwork, as
    unfortunately death compels us all to do, and they are finding this post. It may
    not be the most appropriate thing. Please let me know if I should take this post
    down. Again, I'm so sorry that you lost Christine so soon.

  • Mike

    Thanks, but I'm OK with it. I am probably the most distant of any involved family members – I'm here in the Midwest while this is all happening – so while I cannot speak for them, I have no problem at all with the post. Personally, I see it as a tribute more than anything else, and an interesting commentary on how technology has changed the nature of these very personal relationships.

  • Laura Mason

    I do the same (name alert) and understand your thoughts and yes it's intresting. I am wondering how many others have the same thoughts.

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    more and more of us, I imagine, as the mainstream learns how to set up google
    alerts.

    thanks for commenting. I'm wondering if I should take down this post or not, and
    your comments made me think about why I wrote it in the first place. We all need
    to help each other navigate these unknown waters. -C

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  • Robert

    I just found out about Christine’s death about 15 minutes ago. An actress’s death was reported today and she had a condition that had the word (name) PURPURA in it. I suddenly remembered Christine whom I’d discovered on the internet in 2005. My sister-in-law and three nieces (as well as six others) were killed in the La Conchita mudslide a few miles from our home here in California. Christine had written some kind words on about the girls and I saw it several times. She painted a small picture of my sister-in-law and her daughters, never having met them, but capturing them as they were. I saw the painting and thanked her for the work. The painting showed up a few days later at my home and she and I had a brief email friendship, but we lost contact around 2007. I was profoundly saddened to learn of her passing, and amazed at your “connection” with her.

  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    Wow, Robert, this is all so odd. Internet connections and personal ones mix so
    we find ourselves in such a new situation. Thanks for reaching out.

    I’m so sorry about your sister in law and nieces. How sad. How kind of Christine
    Purpura to filter some of your grief with her art. Thanks for sharing that; it’s
    so touching. Everyone should be remembered by their acts of kindness.

    Yes, Purpura is “purple” in Latin (Italian, Spanish) and the medical
    establishment uses it to describe the skin’s purple color, etc.

    I hope you are at a place, 5 years later, that lets you have some peace. Don’t
    relive that tragedy because of Christine’s death. They are separate things, and
    unfortunately, death is something that will find us all. Peace to you.

    -Christine Cavalier

  • Robertvaldivia

    Thank you.
    All the best to you!

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