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Wanna tweet for Colbert?

tweet-4-stephen-colbertJFC. Look at this job description to be the Social Media Producer for Stephen Colbert’s show (which I’ve only seen on YouTube. Because: bedtime).

First, a few questions.

WHO TF QUIT THIS JOB!?

And what level of douchecanoe would one have to be to land this gig? Douchecanoe Extraordinert, that’s what. Dang.

Look at the skills needed to be the ‘live tweeter” for Stephen Colbert:

QUALIFICATIONS:

  • Social media savvy

  • Strong writer who can be funny in under 140 characters

  • Great organizational skills and ability to handle multiple projects with ease

  • Experience with Photoshop.

  • Headline writing experience a huge plus.

How about good with punctuation? Or does CBS only have the budget for 2 periods in their bullet pointed “QUALIFICATIONS?”

I’m a woman. I. have. lots. of. periods. I’m gonna drop another one on you riiiiiiighht now.

The job description:

({insert company history here} {add more blah blah blah} Just know the “C”-as-in-BS doesn’t stand for “Central” when you go for your interview)

PRINCIPAL RESPONSIBILITIES:

Producer will work with the Digital team and CBS interactive to build social engagement on our various platforms. Job will entail scheduling social throughout the day, live tweeting the show, creating shareable GIFS and graphics, and coordinating the roll-out of social content on all platforms. The Social Media Producer will also be the de facto Late Show fan club president, interacting with fans on social media and nurturing online engagement.

Ah, forget it. The pay is probably equals what you get for your court-mandated community service hours.

And you STILL have to wear the “prisoner” vest.

 

 

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